Recently, I was chatting with a friend on the high street. We were bonding over shared experiences — nothing heavy, just a heartfelt conversation about something close to both of us. Then, without warning, I felt my body start to give way. The world tilted. My heart raced, my legs went weak, and I genuinely thought I might collapse.
Instantly, my mind jumped to panic: What’s wrong with me? Health anxiety took over in seconds. Thankfully, I was close to home — my safe space. On the walk back, I put some of my breathing exercises into practice to calm myself down. When I got inside, I took a moment before jumping in the car to head to therapy.
When I explained what had happened to my therapist, she smiled softly and said, “It sounds like you were triggered — your brain was trying to protect you.”
That moment changed everything.
I hadn’t fainted. I hadn’t “lost control.” My body had shut off for a moment because it sensed emotional overload. It was dissociation — my nervous system stepping in to keep me safe.
Our brains are so clever, aren’t they? Once I understood what had actually happened, I felt relief. I wasn’t broken. My body was communicating with me — I just hadn’t been fluent in its language yet.
Your Body Always Knows First
“The body keeps the score: it remembers what the mind forgets.” – Bessel van der Kolk
We often think of stress, anxiety, or burnout as problems we can “think” our way out of — but our nervous system gets there first. Long before your mind catches up, your body is scanning for cues of safety or danger.
It’s what neuroscientists call neuroception — your subconscious radar that constantly asks, “Am I safe right now?” When the answer feels like “no,” even for reasons you can’t see, your body automatically shifts into protection mode.
Sometimes that looks like racing thoughts, irritability, or a pounding heart (fight or flight).
Other times, like mine on the high street, it looks like dizziness, numbness, or disconnection (freeze or faint).
You’re not weak. You’re wired for survival.
If this sounds familiar, you might also enjoy reading Why You Can’t Seem To Get Anything Done: Understanding Executive Function and Burnout — it’s all about how stress and burnout impact focus, planning, and motivation.
When Stress Becomes Your Normal
A 2022 Harvard Health review found that chronic stress can literally rewire the brain, shrinking the hippocampus (the part that helps with memory and emotional regulation) and over-activating the amygdala (the fear centre).
That’s why, when life feels “too much” for too long, you might find yourself reacting to small things as if they’re major threats — because, to your body, they are. Your nervous system isn’t being dramatic; it’s exhausted. It’s been running the show solo for a while.
The good news? You can teach it to feel safe again.
And if you’ve been wondering how hormones or neurodivergence play into this, you might find my blog It’s Not Just Hormones: How Perimenopause Impacts the Neurodivergent Brain a helpful next read.
The Science of Calm
Our nervous system has two main modes:
• Sympathetic – the accelerator (go, do, protect).
• Parasympathetic – the brake (rest, digest, repair).
When you’re constantly “on”, your foot stays pressed on the accelerator. But here’s the hopeful part: simple, consistent regulation techniques can start to restore balance.
Research in Frontiers in Psychology (2020) found that regular grounding and breathing exercises can lower cortisol by up to 40% in just eight weeks.
It’s not about long meditations or fancy routines. It’s about small moments of awareness that tell your body: You’re safe now.
If you’re curious about how nutrition can also influence your mood and stress levels, my blog The Calm-from-Within Diet: The Truth About Sugar and How Food Shapes Your Mood dives deeper into the connection between what we eat and how we feel.
Finding Calm in Real Life
Here are a few tools I use (and often share with my clients):
1. Ground through your senses.
Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This pulls you out of your head and back into the present.
2. Try box breathing.
Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, hold again for four. Repeat for one minute. This simple rhythm signals your vagus nerve — your body’s “calm switch.”
3. Shake it out.
Animals shake after a threat to discharge stress. We can too. Roll your shoulders, stretch your neck, move your hands. It helps your body complete the stress cycle.
4. Build pockets of safety.
Think of places, people, or activities where your body instantly softens — walking in nature, a familiar scent, soft lighting. Spend time there intentionally.
5. Name what’s happening.
When you notice overwhelm rising, simply saying “I’m safe but my body doesn’t feel safe right now” can help separate the trigger from the truth. Awareness itself is regulation.
You’re Not Broken — You’re Protecting Yourself
A 2021 Journal of Behavioural Medicine study found that people who practise nervous system regulation techniques report 30–50% improvements in sleep and mood. Healing doesn’t mean forcing yourself to stay calm all the time. It means recognising what state you’re in — and giving your body what it needs to return to balance.
When life feels too much, remember: it’s not your fault you can’t “just relax.” Your nervous system is the real boss — and it’s doing its best to keep you safe.
If This Resonates…
You might like to explore my Burnout Quiz (coming soon) to learn which stage of burnout you’re in and what your body might be trying to tell you. You can also read my other blogs on Executive Function and Perimenopause & ADHD for more real-world ways to reconnect with your energy, focus, and calm.
References
Bessel van der Kolk, B.A. (2014) The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. London: Penguin Books.
Cleveland Clinic. (2023) The vagus nerve: Your body’s communication superhighway. Available at: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/ (Accessed: 19 October 2025).
Dana, D. (2018) The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. New York: W.W. Norton & Company.
Frontiers in Psychology. (2020) The effect of mindfulness-based stress reduction on cortisol and inflammatory biomarkers: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Available at: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology (Accessed: 19 October 2025).
Harvard Health Publishing. (2022) How chronic stress affects the brain — and what you can do to protect it. Available at: https://www.health.harvard.edu/ (Accessed: 19 October 2025).
Journal of Behavioural Medicine. (2021) Effects of mind-body practices on sleep, mood, and stress: A meta-analytic review. Available at: https://link.springer.com/journal/10865 (Accessed: 19 October 2025).
LePera, N. (2021) How to Do the Work: Recognise Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self. London: Harper Wave.
Mental Health Foundation. (2023) Stress statistics 2023: How the UK is coping. Available at: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/ (Accessed: 19 October 2025).
About the Author
Mariko Broome is a trauma-informed transformational health coach and women’s wellbeing advocate.
Through her workshops, writing, and coaching, she helps women heal burnout, realign with their purpose, and create sustainable calm — one real step at a time.
